There are three gifts that every leader can receive: meaning, a legacy, and betterment of self.
Countless books, articles, essays, and podcasts offer discussions of leadership—how to recognize it and methods to develop it. A majority of these resources touch on the topic of service or “servant leadership.” Servant leadership advocates argue that true leaders should eat last, stay latest, work hardest, and sacrifice the most. “The cost of leadership,” explains retired Marine Lieutenant General George Flynn, “is self-interest.” Or as comic-book writer Stan Lee famously penned, “With great power comes great responsibility.”
Stan Lee and General Flynn are right, but if leadership is only about sacrifice, why would someone want to be a leader? Faced with all pain and no gain, even the most altruistic individuals would not take on the mantle of leadership. Those who might attempt it eventually will be exhausted by the demands of servility, always taking second place to those in their charge. Even those with the strongest sense of civic duty will tire of only giving credit and taking blame. The servant leadership mantra—which makes it unacceptable to benefit from being a leader—fuels a paucity of discussion of the perks of leadership.
Leadership perks often are associated with bad leaders who use their position for selfish gain. They leave early for personal errands or show up late or avoid required formations. They are leaders who use their rank as a reason to not take out the trash or field day regularly, or selfish leaders who make everything about themselves and take every advantage to advance their self-interests. These characteristics of “bad leadership” prevent discussion of the benefits of leadership. But the true dividends reaped from being a leader are not as superficial as leniency on the clock or avoidance of menial tasks. The gifts of leadership do not allow one to avoid anything; they provide something to a leader. There are three gifts that every leader can receive: meaning, a legacy, and betterment of self.
Leadership Gives Meaning
Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl writes extensively on this subject in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning.1 He explains that with a “why” anyone can withstand the “how.” He argues that individuals can withstand the extremes of human suffering, pain, and sacrifice if those things are endured for a worthy cause. Leadership is a worthy cause.
Leadership in any context is an almost sacred responsibility. In the military, it often can mean a leader is charged with the life and well-being of his or her troops. What greater meaning could one find? What greater “why” to allow an individual to withstand any “how?”
Being a leader allows you to endure hardship because leadership takes the focus off yourself. When you have women and men to lead through tragedy and strife, you do not have time to focus on your own adversity. When you feel a responsibility to inspire others, you often end up inspiring yourself. Medal of Honor recipient retired Navy Vice Admiral James Stockdale wrote that his experiences in isolation were the most trying of his years as a prisoner of war (POW) in Vietnam. Stockdale often was blindfolded in solitary confinement and had seen a few only of the men he commanded. Without men to lead, one of his fellow commanders died in isolation.
Stockdale coped by leading prisoners to valiantly resist their enemy. From his cell, he fostered a culture of camaraderie through covert communications including tap code, knotted string, and daredevil shouts. Prisoners routinely resisted and challenged their captors to torture them instead of their fellow POWs. In interviews, Stockdale often talks about how he focused on his role as a leader and his responsibilities to his fellow prisoners rather than the pain and suffering he endured at the hands of his captors. “We had a war to fight and were committed to fighting it from lonely concrete boxes . . . they placed unity above self. Self-indulgence was a luxury that could not be afforded.”2
The inability to self-indulge allows us to focus on alleviating the suffering of others rather than wallowing in our own. Servant leaders, such as Vice Admiral Stockdale, consistently focus on others. Frankl reinforces the interaction between suffering and leadership when he writes that people find meaning in three ways—through work, relationships with others, and how they choose to meet unavoidable suffering. Leadership in the military provides all three of these paths to meaning.
Leadership Leaves A Legacy
The aspiration for a legacy is a powerful, common, and arguably biological desire. It drives politicians, generals, and civil servants to write memoirs and fund foundations. Some studies suggest that the brain releases dopamine—one of the four “happy” chemicals—when a person thinks of his or her legacy. Studies also suggest that the desire to leave a legacy is closely tied to the biological desire to have children.3 This inner pull to create a lasting impression pervades the Department of Defense, from official seals, patches, crests, and flags to unofficial T-shirts and the painting of Tri-walls. Legacies—for many—are the path to immortality.
True legacies, however, are more than remembrance. Legacies are enduring. Legacies happen when leaders transfer their purpose and vision to the next generation. Legacies incite action. Simon Sinek writes that a true legacy continues past the leader who started it. “A leader’s legacy is only as strong as the foundation they leave behind that allows other to continue to advance the organization in their name. Legacy is not the memory of better times when the old leader was there. That is not legacy, that is nostalgia.”4
Real legacy builders are silent patriots. These leaders are common in the military. They are known as humble and self-sacrificing. They have matured past the superficial rewards of the showering praise of others. They have advanced in their own character to seek and find contentment in their work, not in the accolades they receive. While studies suggest that people are hardwired to leave legacies, they note that the “happy chemicals” are released while building a legacy not when admiring our past accomplishments. Legacy is the second gift of leadership.
Leadership improves self
It is wrong to only discuss qualities that make a leader. Sometimes it is the leadership itself that creates the qualities. It is a reiterative cycle. The character of an individual determines the quality of leadership while the leadership role also helps shape the character of an individual. Leadership in difficult times reveals and creates character. Leading shapes you into the person you want to be, if you let it.
Leadership can make a person better, happier, and more fulfilled. Whatever qualities one seeks to improve, there is a leadership role or challenge that can be the catalyst for that change. Leadership requires leaders to learn more, be more, and do better. A solid day of mentorship and coaching will leave a leader exhausted, yet fulfilled. When people talk about the privilege of leadership, this fulfillment is what they mean. Leadership gives those brave enough to accept the challenge the chance and motivation to reach their full potential. It gives an uncomfortable amount of responsibility, and that makes leaders take risks and grow. Leadership demands more strength and calm than someone might think they are capable of. It makes leaders stronger and better than they could be alone. It fills in when confidence is low. It teaches resilience and humility. It teaches that there always is room for growth and that growth often comes from moving through a struggle or failure.
Young naval officers are taught the phrase Ductus Exemplo—to lead by example. While often used to harass young ensigns and lieutenants about proper civilian attire or faster run times, it implies something greater. It means leaders must be able to accomplish any task they ask of their subordinates, from the front. Leadership from the front cannot be faked, at least not for long. A leader must be willing to put in the work to not only say he or she can accomplish the task, but also be able to do it. Leading from the front requires leaders to be better.
These gifts of leadership provide benefits critical to the development of a satisfied soul. These benefits, however, do not come without costs. To reap the rewards, there must be sacrifice. Leaders must develop the habits that personify good leadership. They must take on the often frightening experience of being responsible for a group of service members and their mission.
Leadership is never perfect and never uniform. It looks different to everyone. It is going to teach different lessons. It requires humility, work, and sacrifice, but the benefits exceed the costs. That is what the recruiting posters do a poor job of telling young officers. This is what leaders fail to remember themselves. Poor leadership starts when leaders forget the “why” because they are overwhelmed by the “how.” They become resentful of their duties, the time and effort it takes to counsel a subordinate, or the deep work necessary to plan a successful mission. They start to think they are entitled to those small, superficial perks because they have forgotten—or were never truly aware—of how much they benefit from their leadership roles.
Leaders must remember these benefits when they start to cycle in self-sympathy or entitlement. They must capitalize on the opportunities leadership affords them for the betterment of themselves and those they lead. When the gifts of leadership are bestowed, leaders must be able to identify them, express gratitude, and embrace them to become better leaders.
1. Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning (New York: Penguin, 2001).
2. Devon Hubbard Sorlie, “Navy Legend Vice Adm. Stockdale Led POW Resistance,” Naval History and Heritage Command, 13 November 2015.
3. Loretta G. Breuning, Ph.D. “The Animal Urge to Leave a Legacy,” Psychology Today, 2 August 2011.
4. Simon Sinek, Leaders Eat Last: Why Some Teams Pull Together and Others Don’t (New York; Doubleday, 2014).
Major Seymour is an intelligence officer with Intel Support Battalion. She previously deployed in support of Operations Iraqi and Enduring Freedom as well as Operation Inherent Resolve.