About 60 years ago, when I was a sophomore in high school, my mother caught me in a lie regarding my grade on a geometry examination. As I remember, my rationalization for the lie was that I did not want to disappoint my mom. After some tense discussion with her, I thought the counseling was over and went back to my daily routine.
The next day as I prepared myself for school I found the poem below taped to my bathroom mirror:
"The Man in the Glass"
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
and the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
and see what that man has to say
For it isn’t your father or mother or wife
whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts the most in your life
is the one staring back from the glass
Some people may think you a straight-shooting chum
and call you a wonderful guy
But the guy in the glass says you’re only a bum
if you can’t look him straight in the eye
He’s the fellow to please never mind all the rest
for he’s with you clear up to the end
And you’ve passed your most dangerous difficult test
if the man in the glass is your friend
You may fool the whole world down the pathway
of life and get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
if you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
The poet, Dale Wimbrow, reminds us that you can trick everyone and have everything, but if you do not respect the ways you have done it, you have cheated yourself. You have to live with yourself, your actions, and your decisions until you die. If you cheat yourself, you will regret it your entire life.
I did not discuss the poem with my mother until decades later. She remembered the occasion and the poem as if the event had occurred yesterday. During our discussion, she mentioned that back in 1959 she had hoped that “The Man in the Glass” poem would provide me some self-direction as I navigated life.
I keep “The Man in the Glass” on my desk at home along with an old fortune cookie saying that simply states, “Successful leader knows the way, shows the way, and goes the way.” Over the decades, I have found that self direction and a game plan are helpful as we navigate the ups and downs of life and seek to know the way, show the way, and go the way.
We all need a game plan to maximize our effectiveness in life. We do better when we know that our lives are planned, when we know how to control a thought, when we know what we stand for, and when we are able to focus our dreams for the future. When an individual ignores his or her game plan, any direction or focus is possible, and results often are not what were desired. This situation reminds me of grocery shopping without a list. The results often are not what was desired or needed!
Your personal game plan does not need to be formal and should be a list of traits that you hope to emulate over life. Investor’s Business Daily (IBD) has spent years analyzing leaders and successful people in all walks of life. The publication’s research indicates that most successful people share ten important traits, the “Ten Secrets to Success”:
- How you think is everything. Always be positive. Think success, not failure. Beware of a negative environment.
- Decide your true dreams and goals. Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.
- Take action. Goals are nothing without action. Just do it.
- Never stop learning. Go back to school or read books. Get training and acquire skills.
- Be persistent and work hard. Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.
- Learn to analyze details. Get all the facts. Learn from your mistakes.
- Focus your time and money. Don’t let people or things distract you.
- Innovate and be different. Following the herd is a sure way to mediocrity.
- Deal and communicate effectively with people. Learn to understand and motivate.
- Be honest and dependable. Take responsibility. Otherwise, numbers one through nine won’t matter.
These traits nicely lend themselves to the development of a game plan to provide self-direction. They can provide value in recognizing your strengths and playing to those strengths, but also in recognizing one’s weaknesses so an individual is able to work to improve these areas or at least be cognizant they exist.
At the end of the day, each of us needs to be able to look in the mirror and honestly evaluate whether we have screwed something up and how we could do better the next time.
I often tell young folk that all it takes is trying and getting a little better daily in our personal and professional lives. When you think this way and continue to move forward in life you soon will be successful. Self-direction, a game plan, and personal honesty provide a map to success, happiness, and fulfillment.
Editor’s Note: This is part eight of a ten-part series on behaviors that Vice Admiral Konetzni learned during his years of service. They apply to individuals and define superb organizations. Admiral Konetzni believes these ten behaviors can give people energy to thrive and overcome obstacles. For the rest of the series by Admiral Konetzni, click here. Part 1: Self Image. Part 2: Self Motivation. Part 3: Self Projection. Part 4: Self Control. Part 5: Self Discipline. Part 6: Self Esteem. Part 7: Self Image.