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The Public's Perception of the Nary
Over the years, my husband and I occasionally have been amused by those who believe that he, as a naval officer, pays no income taxes and has been provided with insurance for home, cars, and life. We have been badgered by friends who ask why we visit home so infrequently since, as a Navy family, we have free air transportation. We have been amused by those who believe that we have no mortgage payment, since the Navy provides us with our choice of a place to live. We have patiently tried to explain matters as they are, and left it at that.
Recently, however, while my husband was deployed on board the USS Tarawa (LHA-l), one of my daughter’s friends asked her mother what work Sally's daddy did aboard ship. My friend sent her daughter to me for an explanation, not knowing how (in her own words) to tell her daughter that “Sally’s daddy was learning how to kill people.” After my initial reaction of shock and anger had passed, I realized that my friend actually believed this. She had no sense of this nation’s need for defense or of international relations as they are.
This incident strongly affected me for three reasons. First, there was the realization that not all people understand the Navy as I do. Second, the question came from an upper middle- class contemporary with a college education living in San Diego, a city constantly exposed to the Navy. And, third, her misunderstanding and resentment seemed in some ways typical of her age and situation.
Since that incident, I have given much thought to other questions directed towards me: Why didn’t I go and visit my husband in the Orient since dependent travel overseas is free? Isn t it nice to save so much money while the ship is at sea since my husband gets double pay while under way? What a low food bill you must
have since your husband pays nothing for his meals on board. Won’t it be nice to have your husband home since he gets compensatory time off for days at sea? How can you complain about inflation since you get wholesale prices on everything at the commissary and exchange?
I am convinced of the need for an information program which would counter such naivete. 1 believe that we in the Navy community should respond. To be honest, 1 remember that seven years ago as a bride, armed with my gift copy of The Nary Wife, and fresh out of a campus environment which was none too kind to my military fiance, I was less tolerant and certainly less informed than those who ask such questions now. My own change had nothing to do with a Navy information program, but was the result of exposure to and information about the Navy situation—the keys to public support.
My college friends and contemporaries have now become “the public. They are the people who are passing legislation, raising a new generation, voicing opinions from important positions, and, as a result, are having immense influence on the future of the Navy. They are our friends and neighbors, a more educated, conservative version of their early 1970 liberal selves, but they are still relatively uninformed about and somewhat negative toward the military. The future of the Navy, and indeed all of our futures, is in the hands of this public.
In an age when the military is still considered somehow evil, it is obvious that something must be done to affect positively public opinion. We, as Navy families, have the opportunity to do this by exposing our friends and neighbors to the Navy in a way that a formal program never could.
The military, by its very nature, is a closed community. The base complex with its gate and guard, the uniform, and separate housing areas are all very visible reminders that the
military is different from the rest of society. This separation creates a barrier to understanding and support of the military by the general public. The key to change-for-the-better lies with military families becoming involved in their communities— becoming active and vital parts of their neighborhoods; for the only way to promote understanding and acceptance of the military is through exposure to the Navy’s most valuable resource: its people.
The most obvious and easiest ways of increasing community involvement are connected with our everyday lives—joining a community church, becoming involved with our children’s schools, and being good neighbors. We can become involved even more by participating in community action programs, supporting the arts, volunteering time and energy in community projects, and taking part in various interest groups. In these ways, we become contributing members of society, changing the belief of many citizens that military families deplete community resources without giving anything in return.
Involvement on a personal level is equally important and more rewarding than mere participation in programs. By developing friendships, we become “real” people, more approachable than the military stereotype. We can then answer questions, dispel myths, and provide information about the military in a personal manner.
Such commitment is not easy. It involves a sharing of ourselves that can be difficult when we realize that in one or two years we will be gone, leaving behind friends, shared experiences, and projects that represent enormous emotional and physical investments. I only hope that we can believe that it is worth it—for the communities that we leave behind, for our own personal growth, and for the positive acceptance of the Navy that will result. Only then can we belong to the communities that we serve.
Proceedings / August 1980