From the log of Coast Guard Governor Nicholls Street Vessel Traffic Control Tower, New Orleans, 13 July 1996:
2331 - M/V Spanish Fort reported a nude woman running about under Mandeville St. Wharf, passed report to harbor police and Coast Guard Marine Safety Office.
0030 - M/V Spanish Fort reported verbal contact with woman, who now claims to be a snake and refuses assistance.
0105 - M/V Robert reported verbal contact with woman, who is now in waist-deep water adjacent to 45-foot dropoff. Woman appears incoherent and harbor police request Coast Guard assistance.
Shortly after the 0105 entry, Coast Guard small boat CG 23502 reported en route to scene. As the duty vessel traffic controller at “Gov. Nick,” I acknowledged the boat’s call and then began to think. For an old reserve Master Chief with 30 years of Saturday night duty in New Orleans harbor, this was just another “troll retrieval”—the extraction of the incoherent and unwilling from positions of peril in the harbor, especially under bridges and wharves. I’d seen it dozens of times as a boat coxswain and as a search-and-rescue mission coordinator.
It occurred to me, however, that the young boatswain’s mate approaching the scene might be wondering how to proceed with this novel problem. So I called him. He said he hadn’t done a troll retrieval before, and, indeed, he was most interested in any advice I might offer. I shared with him the lessons of years of Saturday nights in a harbor that happens to wind right through the French Quarter.
I am pleased to report that the crew of CG 23502 followed the advice and extracted the woman within 15 minutes of their arrival on scene. For the benefit of other young boatswain’s mates, what follows is an encapsulation of those lessons learned. There is a lesson for policymakers as well: This is just one, rather detailed sample of the kind of operational knowledge found among the Coast Guard’s evolving constabulary reserve personnel. It is a practical demonstration of our value added, regardless of “surge” requirements.1
Tips for a Successful Retrieval
For both the search-and-rescue incident coordinator and the coxswain:
- Despite the politically incorrect and obviously insensitive name, what we call a “troll” is a human being in peril on the water. This is a search-and-rescue case, pure and simple. The U.S. Coast Guard is an equal opportunity lifesaver; we save the sane and the insane, the sober and those “out of their gourds.” Do not let the presence of local police and the probability of local disturbing-the-peace charges cloud the issue. We were called because a person is in danger on U.S. waters.
- If you have a female crew member available, don’t even think of leaving the dock without her. A crewwoman is the greatest single asset you can bring to the situation. In my experience both male and female trolls, no matter how incoherent, will talk to a woman, are more likely to move toward a woman, and are more likely to establish a rapport with a woman.
Your safest course of action for all concerned is to talk the troll onto your boat. Your chances of doing that improve dramatically if you have a woman do the talking and if you can keep on the subjects described herein. If you absolutely cannot get a crewwoman, have your least-threatening-looking guy take the part I call Earth Mother. That person will have to reach for his best maternal instincts.
I have been in troll retrieval since the 1960s, when half a generation turned on, tuned in, and dropped out. That was a time when trolls were common and crewwomen were unheard of. Since then I have seen many women handle this mission, and they are good. If you can’t get a female crew member, you are best advised to follow the same path I first observed them using instinctively. The name of this game is Come to Mama. Before we learned that, too many trolls returned to dock in body bags.
- If you have crewmembers who are trained emergency medical technicians, don’t leave the dock without one, even if you have to add another member to the normal boat complement. The people you are trying to rescue often are high on drugs, suffering from severe mental or medical problems, may carry AIDS, and sometimes bite. They also have been known to sustain severe injuries during the retrieval process, especially when jumping from heights.
- Wake up the cook and pack some food from the galley. No, “boats”—this is not in case you get hungry. Trolls are usually cold, wet, and hungry by the time you arrive on scene. You have to attract them to the boat, and food works. I have observed as few as ten minutes pass from the moment a Coast Guard crewwoman palms an apple aloft to “troll on board.”
For the search-and-rescue mission coordinator:
- Wake up the command duty officer for the appropriate captain of the port and get the ball rolling for some vessel traffic control. You may need a safety zone or other vessel traffic control when your boat gets on scene. This type of retrieval usually involves sticking small craft in places not normally thought navigable. When your coxswain gets to the scene, you want to be able to establish whatever level of vessel traffic control he requires— without delay.
For the boat coxswain:
- Brief your crew en route to the scene, beginning with the person who will do the talking. Whoever will represent the Coast Guard to the troll should try to keep the conversation focused on that person’s primal needs for food and warmth. Forget the disturbing-the-peace charges the local police have waiting. Forget how annoyed you are at being called out in the middle of the night for this foolishness. You gotta be Earth Mother. Get the troll focused on the gnaw in her belly and the chill on his skin. The boat is warm; the boat has food; we can fix your cuts and scrapes; we’re all your friends. Earth Mother won’t let anyone hurt you.
It may be best to keep the guns out of sight. If you happen to have a naked troll the likelihood of being harmed by a concealed weapon is pretty close to nil. If you get a fully clothed troll, you may need the weapons handy, but keep them visibly away from the crewwoman doing the talking, and everyone on board show her real respect. The troll has to believe Earth Mother is in charge, that she can protect, and that she can control the scary men in the blue suits with the big guns.
- Once the troll is on board, the available crew members should move closer very carefully and watch for Earth Mother’s signals. Each troll is different, but usually if the person boarded peacefully and engaged in conversation with Earth Mother, he or she can be transported without restraint if Earth Mother maintains eye contact and conversation.
Make good on the promise of food; the strongest crewman should bring it at Earth Mother’s clear command. This often is the safest way to move potential restrainers closer to the troll. If all hell should break loose, all crew members should act together and immediately to take full physical control of the troll. In doing so, watch the person’s head—you’ll recover from a blow from a fist, but a bite can carry AIDS and other deadly stuff. If the troll endangers Earth Mother, who should be unarmed, MOVE!
- As you arrive on scene, quickly assess your traffic control needs and communicate them to the search-and-rescue incident coordinator or controller. You don’t need to be struggling with excessive wakes, collision risks, or sightseeing boats—and you definitely don’t need a cheering or jeering gallery.
- When the scene is as ready as possible, move in with Earth Mother at center stage. Place the crew member who will do the talking where she is clearly visible and closest to the troll. Keep the muscle in a more discreet position, but where they can come instantly to the aid of Earth Mother. If the coxswain is Earth Mother, go ahead and land the boat—this will only enhance the appearance of authority that you will need to draw the troll aboard. At this point, it becomes Earth Mother’s show. Everyone else should appear to be doing her bidding. From here on out, it is “yes, ma’am” and “no, ma’am” by everybody to any request. The troll will respond to a convincing, nurturing, kindly, but clearly in charge Earth Mother.
- The most dangerous time likely will be the transfer to the local authorities. During transport, use your radio. Enlist the higher command’s aid to get the local police to let you hand the troll over to a medical unit. It seems that even the most incoherent know the difference between a medical unit and a police unit. If a violent reaction happens, it most likely will occur at transfer—especially if transfer is to a police unit. You may have no choice but to use force to restrain the troll totally.
- When it is all over, make sure that Earth Mother is debriefed by a medical officer—no later than the next day. For you “boats” and most of the rest of the crew, it was just a retrieval. For Earth Mother, it was a command performance as an actress, a personal encounter with a person who was in need and who became utterly dependent on her—and in the end she may have been forced to betray that trust (turn the troll over to the authorities). In short, it was a rough night. She might need a little help readjusting, or she might have a real talent for this—either way the command needs to know. Especially if she has a talent, because Saturday night is coming again to an inner harbor near you.
1 See “Sell It Like It Is,” U.S. Naval Institute Proceedings. July 1996, pp. 33-34.
Master Chief Bollinger is a merchant marine officer, unlimited tonnage master, and first-class pilot. As a reservist, he augments Marine Safety Office, New Orleans.